Maybe it’s because my BFF is a well-known stylist, and over the years some of her good fashion taste has rubbed off on me, but I now see fashion trends walking around on the beach, and while there are some really great looks out there, there were some where I wonder just what these people see when they look in the mirror.   Here are a few that really stood out:

  • The biggest laugh this trip has come from seeing guys pull their boardshorts as far down on their hips as possible without getting arrested.   It actually looks great if they’re doing it to show the pattered boxers or compression-shorts that they’re wearing underneath.  However, on those who are doing it without anything on underneath, it brings all new meaning to the term ‘shortage’.   Dudes – unless you’ve really got something to show, all this does is show what you don’t have, if you get my drift.  We are not impressed.  In fact, the smiles you see are us trying very hard not to laugh.   So put on some boxers or pull up your shorts – please.
  • There are less mother-daughter matching bikinis roaming around this time, which is a nice trend.  I guess they read my last blogpost “Bikini tops don’t tie at the waist”, and realized just how sad that looks.  Nice going, ladies!
  • Banana-hammocks are in short supply this year, even from the Europeans staying at our condo complex.  A very nice trend that has earned applause from everyone.  My nephew Harald saw one yesterday on an older gentleman, and even at 9 he knew it was So Wrong.  His comment was “didn’t he know how funny he looked?”.  Pearls of wisdom there, gentlemen.  You do look funny to the rest of us.
  • Hats are in!  Guys, gals and kids are all wearing head-protection, and that’s just great to see after all the years when I’ve been the only one at the beach with a brimmed hat.  Hat shops and kiosks have sprung up all over the island.   I was even able to find a sun-visor at Cruise in Whaler’s Village that’s made of bathing-suit material that I now wear while swimming.   Just rinse it out at night, and it’s ready to go the next day.   Several ladies at the pool asked me where I got it  and the next day there were a whole bunch of them in the pool.  Nice to start a skin-saving trend.
  •  Awesome beach cover-ups.   I’ve seen beautiful pareos, lovely tunics, and even a few pairs of sheer palazzo pants with matching tunics that were very fetching.
  • Full body-suits for kids is a great trend that must have dermatologists applauding everywhere.   This protects their skin and reduces the risk of skin cancer later on.  We’ve seen it on a lot of babies and small children, and I think it’s awesome.  Good work there, Moms!

I’ll leave you with this parting comment – - His and Her muumuus and Hawaiian shirts went out of fashion 50 years ago, folks.  If you want to advertise that you’re from Hickville, go to Bubba Gump’s for fried fish, not to Hilo Hattie’s.   Hawaiian shirts with orange parrots really need to be confined to the poker table, and when it’s combined with a plus-size muumuu on your honeybunny, it makes our eyes bleed and wish we had a camera to catch the sight and record it for posterity.  You get bonus points if you wear socks with your sandals.

May the Fashion Gods be with you.  Please.